When I was pregnant with my son, I had so many high expectations about how my postpartum period would be if all went as planned. There was the possibility of breastfeeding issues and the lack of sleep that I was aware of, but I felt like my body was ready. Working out every day, listening to birth podcasts, and reading all of the pregnancy and birthing books had to account for something, right? I imagined postpartum to be a time of stroller walks, meeting up with friends, working out when I was given the go ahead, and a baby on a good sleep schedule so I could have some time to myself. The Instagram sleep trainer accounts I followed and newborn courses that I bought were going to set me up for a successful sleeper. I thought so at least.
My expectations and reality were a stark difference. The Covid-19 pandemic hit my home state about a month before my baby was born. We were in isolation and lockdown. After a traumatic birth experience, the last thing I wanted to do was listen to the birth podcasts I once loved. Hearing other’s stories were triggering to me. I was angry that my birth experience had taken such a turn, when I felt it had been going so well. Pain consumed me and I had weakness from a birthing injury. I couldn’t walk or workout like I wanted to. Oh, and the sleep training didn’t work for this highly sensitive baby of mine. Naps were short and the nights were long when baby was up all the time. When would I ever feel whole again?
It’s been just over two years since I gave birth and I’m finally (mostly) healed physically and mentally, but it was a process to get well again. I’ve personally found certain things to be beneficial and have researched things that I should have done to help.
1. Yoga and Meditation
Whether it’s physical trauma or emotional trauma that you are trying to overcome, yoga and meditation can help with both. Up to 20% of women suffer from postpartum depression. That’s about 28 million people worldwide each year! One study found that daily yoga was found to significantly symptoms in 78% of people. Other studies have shown that postpartum yoga can significantly improve pelvic floor rehabilitation. Additionally, a study found mindfulness training to significantly decrease symptoms of PPD in mothers with newborns by decreasing negative feelings and emotions.
Finding a yoga studio that offers postpartum yoga or even looking up videos on YouTube, if leaving the home is too overwhelming is a great first step. There are a lot of great apps available for meditation, including HeadSpace, Calm, or Insight Timer. If you are looking for one specifically catered to infertility, pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood, Expectful is amazing.
2. Write Out Your Birth Story
There is something healing about expressing your feelings and recalling a traumatic experience. Writing out how you felt at each moment can be a powerful thing. You may need to write a letter to your provider or a specific person who you felt let you down during your birth. You don’t have to send it, or you can, if that helps you heal. Maybe a letter to your baby or to yourself is something that would help. Write your story, rewrite it and read it out loud. This may be a daunting task. You may have to take breaks and it could take a while. You may need to ask your partner for their recall of the birth, as we know labor land can get fuzzy. Request your birth records from the hospital. Let the words flow whether it is with pen and paper or typing at a computer. This first step can help to process what happened to you, separating your feelings and the event that occurred. I know that writing my birth story for this blog has been part of my healing process.
3. Speak to a Therapist
Talking with a professional who specializes in postpartum issues and birth trauma can be very beneficial. They are able to help you process your experience, provide guidance and support you in the healing. It took me 2 months to talk with a therapist after my birth. Due to the pandemic, it was all done over the phone. The thought of having to figure out the logistics to continue therapy when maternity leave ended was too much, so I stopped the therapy sessions. Despite being cut short, even this brief stint with therapy was very helpful. If the thought of leaving your baby or work for an appointment was daunting like it was for me, there are a lot of options with companies like TalkSpace, Better Help or Cerebral that allow you to do your sessions from your computer at home. I haven’t used any of these personally but know that some people find them to be helpful and convenient ways to receive therapy.
4. Seek Out a Physical Therapist Specializing in Pelvic floor Therapy
Were you told to just do kegals before or after giving birth? Pelvic floor therapy is SO much more than just doing kegals! In fact, for some people they can cause more harm than good. A physical therapist trained in women’s health issues can perform internal exams to assess muscle function, prescribe exercises and manual therapy specific to your current impairments, and help get your body functioning the way it was before giving birth.
They can help treat issues of incontinence, pelvic pain, constipation, prolapse, diastasis recti, core strengthening after c-sections and more. I wish I would have done this postpartum for the long-lasting pelvic pain, chronic constipation and hemorrhoids that lasted for months. Pelvic floor therapy could have helped me with all of these issues. You don’t have to accept that “this is just how it is now”.
5. Read Books Specific to What You’re Struggling With
There are many books that can be helpful with a variety of topics that you may be struggling with postpartum. Here are some of my favorites that have helped me.
For Adjusting to New Parenthood– “Touch Points” by T. Berry Brazleton
This book was suggested to me by my therapist when I was having some postpartum depression and dealing with the adjustment to new motherhood with a challenging newborn. It gave me some good insight on normal infant development, expectations at each new stage, and showed me that it was normal to feel the way that I was feeling.
For Birth Trauma- “Heal your Birth Story” By Maureen Campion
This book is great for anyone who feels that they had a traumatic birth experience and need some guidance on how to heal after it. It takes you through a step-by-step process on ways to start your healing and normalizes these feelings.
For a Holistic Postpartum– “Ayurveda Mama” By Dhyana Masla or “Mama’s menu: Ayurvedic Recipes for Postpartum Healing” By Ameya Duprey
I hadn’t used these books personally when I was postpartum but have more recently started to practice ayurveda. These would have been helpful in encouraging a holistic healing approach postpartum, if I had discovered them sooner.