The Beginning..

The lotus flower has been a significant symbol in many religions and cultures with a long history, spanning thousands of years. It is a beautiful flower that grows amongst the murkiest of waters far from the sun. The lotus blossoms from the ugliness of the mud to create the most beautiful flower. It has become a symbol of resilience and rebirth. It symbolizes the beauty that is able to blossom from within. It is a symbol of purity, enlightenment, and self-regeneration. This is the symbol that represents my journey through motherhood. 

The Birth Story

Let’s start from the beginning. My pregnancy. My husband and I were married for 3 years when we decided we were ready to start a family. My husband may be the Director of Research for a national trade association, but when it comes to planning vacations, birthday parties, or home decorating, I do my own share of researching. I am quite indecisive, so for me, knowledge is powerful. I have to know everything before making a decision to ensure I make the right one. Naturally, when it came to family planning, I read all the books, listened to birth story podcasts, and got all of the pregnancy apps. I thought I was as prepared as I could be, but I found when it comes to giving birth, there are some things you just can’t prepare for. 

Getting Pregnant

It took about 5 months for us to get pregnant. I truly feel for those who struggle with fertility issues, because even waiting just 5 cycles without a positive test felt like an eternity. I was tracking everything and felt I was doing everything “right”, so every month was a disappointment.

When August came and my period was a few days late, I didn’t feel very optimistic. This had happened in the past and I would end up starting my period a couple of days after my disheartening negative test. To avoid this disappointment, I refused to take the test until I was a full week late. I had some episodes of lightheadedness that week, so I had little inkling that MAYBE this month might be different, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I wanted to wait for the full period week on my fertility app to be over with. As a side note, I had a 10k that I was signed up to run that weekend, so I knew that if the test was positive, it would throw my mindset off for the race. If it was negative, I would just be discouraged. I made up my mind. I would just test after the race, a full week past my period being due.

Saturday came and I ran a great race. Upon returning home, I decided I would finally take the test. I used one of the cheap pregnancy test strips that I bought off Amazon. After a couple of minutes, two little lines started to show up. My heart started beating fast and I called my husband in. The lines started getting darker and darker. When we realized what those two little lines symbolized, we just sat on the couch smiling at one another in disbelief. We were shocked and overwhelmed with joy and excitement. We were having a baby. 

The Pregnancy

My pregnancy was fairly uneventful. I didn’t have morning sickness, beyond a little queasiness when I didn’t eat something in the morning. We had the genetic testing done and everything looked good. We found out I was having a boy. I had the anatomy scan done at 20 weeks, where my placenta was found to be low lying, meaning it was attached very close to the cervix. This put me at risk of excessive bleeding during birth, if it didn’t move away from the cervix. I was reassured that this is a common finding that often resolves on its own, as the uterus continues to grow.

I had a follow up ultrasound at 28 weeks to see if it moved. When I saw the results of the ultrasound, the placenta was still 1-1.5 cm from the cervix. My concern started to rise. It was supposed to have moved by now. If it didn’t move by the next ultrasound, I would need a C-section, which was not what I wanted. I was rescheduled for a follow up ultrasound at 32 weeks.

The ultrasound day arrived, and I was anxious to see the results on my patient portal, frequently checking my email throughout the day for “new test results in MyChart available”. When I refreshed for the umpteenth time that day and opened up the results, I was happy and a little surprised to see that the placenta was now 7.5 cm away from the cervix. I could continue with my plan for a vaginal birth, a birth experience that I never could have imagined going so awry… 

Continue with my birth story: The Start of a Pandemic.